The Care and Feeding of Domesticated Spies
by They'reGrey
Summary: Annie and Auggie get an unexpected insight into the Campbells' home life. Joan/Arthur with some Annie/Auggie.


When Annie knocks at Joan's office door on Friday, she's surprised to hear Auggie's voice.  
"Come in."  
She enters, puzzled, to find Auggie sitting at Joan's desk, which has been wired up to support his specialized equipment. His face turns mischievous.  
"Jo Malone Grapefruit. Did you piss off another foreign power?"  
"It's not a habit." Annie replies, somewhat defensively, as she takes the chair across from him. "Where's Joan?"  
"I think Arthur made her take the day off. I'm running the ship of fools in her absence."  
"I'm working an asset at the Russian embassy. She wanted me to let her know if I got anything actionable."  
Auggie nods.  
"She has her cell. I'll put her on speakerphone."  
"Thanks Aug."  
Joan answers, sounding a little breathless.  
"Joan Campbell."  
"Hi Joan."  
"Annie. Please tell me you haven't caused any diplomatic incidents."  
Auggie, supportive as always, snorts. Annie kicks him under the desk.  
"Ouch!"  
"Walker, please don't kill my tech guy," Joan says dryly. "What's up?"  
"I just wanted to give you the heads up. We have several FSB deep cover operatives under surveillance. Do you want us to move?"  
"Good work, Annie. We should-" Joan's interrupted by another voice filtering down the line.  
"Honey, are you going to let me get up while you plan my next flood of paperwork?"  
Annie raises an eyebrow quizzically at the handset.  
"Well Arthur, if you're going to question my hand to hand skills..."  
"Taking down your husband when you're wearing a short skirt is not a victory, sweetheart. It's an inevitability."  
Annie doesn't know whether to be embarrassed or amused. Auggie, on the other hand, is grinning hugely as he interrupts the bickering.  
"We're still here Joan."  
"Sorry Auggie. Anyway, I'm not really in a position to interrogate anyone right now-"  
"Why? Aren't bright yellow handprints intimidating enough?"  
"You owe me a new shirt, Mister."  
"Firstly, it's my shirt. Secondly, if we'd just used the navy color like I wanted..."  
"Oh, you think Russian agents'd take me more seriously covered in blue paint?"  
"I think the neighbors'd take us more seriously if our fence didn't look like something out of the Wizard of Oz..."  
"Guys!" Auggie yells down the phone.  
"Sorry," reply Joan and Arthur simultaneously. Annie stifles a giggle. She, like everyone else at the CIA, is used to the Campbells' somewhat legendary rows, but she's never heard them sound quite as married as they do in this moment. Caught up in the unexpected hilarity of spymasters and landscaping, she misses the start of Joan's sentence.  
"...best to leave it for a few days. See what they do when they notice the FBI's poorly disguised surveillance vans."  
Auggie smirks.  
"Got it."  
Annie chimes in.  
"Thanks Joan."  
"No problem. A crisis-free weekend please Annie."  
"I don't-" she gives up. "See you Monday, Joan."  
The line goes dead. Annie lets out a breath.  
"Well that was a little weird."  
"You think that was strange, you should've been here during the Chile emergency. They both turned up in period dress."  
"Wow."  
"Barber walked in on Joan adjusting Arthur's cravat."  
She chuckles at the mental image.  
"How long did it take him to recover?"  
"A while, but I think it had more to do with Joan's corset than Arthur's neckwear. He said it was like something out of a steampunk nerd's wet dream."  
Annie rolls her eyes.  
"Doesn't it worry you that everyone here is a little insane?"  
Auggie holds out a hand and she walks around the desk to take it, enjoying the warmth of his callused palm as she leans on his shoulders.  
"Eccentricity is healthy in this job. Means you've found a way to cope with the dysfunction."  
"Joan and Arthur are still pretty dysfunctional."  
"They're also still together. Maybe the best you can hope for is someone who'll love you despite the damage."  
Annie smiles and presses a soft kiss to his cheek.  
"Speaking of damage, come over tonight and I'll show you my latest stitches. Embassy security almost caught me as I was leaving."  
Auggie sighs.  
"I'll liaise with State."


End file.
